whose best interests?

First of all, I apologize for my absence. I have been dealing with several issues that I hope to address here in the coming days. For the time being, though, an issue has arisen that demands immediate attention:

Yesterday evening, I received an e-mail stating that, effective immediately, all contact between Ethiopian families and adoptive families will be suspended. This includes meetings with birth family while adoptive families are in country picking up their children as well as any contact between the families after the adoption has been finalized.

The e-mail goes on to say that concerns have been expressed by the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa citing a 1989 amendment to the Immigration and Nationality Act "regarding orphan status, irrevocable relinquishment, and termination of family rights." To their credit, the agency did acknowledge that this new policy is "in contrast with what it generally accepted standards of adoption law and practice in the U.S.", and that they will be working toward a resolution of this situation.

I'm still struggling to digest this information, and I'm finding it extremely difficult not to jump to conclusions given other information that has been told to me in confidence. First of all, I'm not really certain why the U.S. Embassy should have any jurisdiction over ongoing contact with birth families, especially once the adoption has been completed and finalized. Secondly, I want to know who exactly this new policy is supposed to benefit.

While I *might* be able to understand concerns over families meeting prior to finalization, I don't understand how establishing contact afterwards can possibly pose problems (especially if the giving of gifts and money are closely monitored as they have been previously). Things just aren't adding up for me (If anyone out there has a better understanding, please share...).

As far as I am aware, only one placement agency has chosen to cut all contact between families of origin and adoptive families, though it's certainly possible that others will follow suit.

Bodies of research have extolled the practice of open adoption whenever possible because it limits a child's sense of loss and allows them to maintain an important connection to their biological roots. When the agency whom we've entrusted to advocate for the best interests of our children instead chooses to act as an additional barrier between my children and their Ethiopian family, I feel betrayed, heartbroken, and extremely angry.

I am left wondering who a policy like this could possibly benefit. Certainly not my children who have already had to lose everything they knew in order to become a part of my family. Certainly not my husband and I, who chose to adopt from Ethiopia, in large part because of the potential for an open adoption. Certainly not my children's Ethiopian family, who may not even be informed of this new policy, and will likely be left wondering why they never hear from us.

I feel as though in taking this action, the agency is only serving to protect their own interests and ensure that Ethiopian adoptions continue as usual without addressing some of the deeper criticisms and ethical concerns expressed by a growing number of families. It feels to me as though they've chosen to take the "divide and conquer" approach because if Ethiopian and adoptive families start talking and realize that the stories they've been told don't match, then the agencies will find themselves in serious trouble.

If "orphan status, irrevocable relinquishment, and termination of family rights" are truly the issues that the Embassy, and in turn, the Agency, are concerned about, then shouldn't they be focusing on making sure that relinquishments are ethical in the first place???

I continue to believe that the agencies' primary focus should be on ensuring that relinquishments are ethical and that families truly understand what they're agreeing to before parental rights can be terminated. Separating the families on either side of the adoption process only takes the focus off the true issues.

I will be working on a letter to my placement agency seeking clarification on the reasoning behind this new policy.

***Update***

I was recently informed that a large fleet of land cruisers carrying numerous adoption and Ethiopian Government officials was dispatched to the offices of a major adoption agency with the purpose of carefully combing through all information pertaining to the relinquishment of children for adoption. Curiouser and curiouser...